Cruising Main, Streaking and Coyote Heads

Circa 1974.... cruising main was still in vogue. No I Phones, IPODs, X Boxes, nothing like that back then, although I remember when my freinds parents bought him that Pong game where the cursor bounced around the screen, we thought that was so cool.

Scene 1: Fade into yours truly, cruising down the street, styling in a Budweiser flat cap, windows down in a '62 Ford Galaxy 500, jacked up in the back, floor mounted 8 track player, Lynard Skynard playing through the dash speakers, and an "Eat More Possum" bumper sticker. I spent a lot of time under the hood occasionally peering around it to look at the brothers across the street working on their cherry '57 Chevy. I suspect they were the ones who had put the brick of Limburger Cheese on my exhaust manifold.


Scene 2: Rumor had been making it round the campus that someone was going to streak ( run nekked in case you don't know or remember) down Main Street that Friday night. A festive crowd of hundreds ( no exaguration) gathered in anticipation. Police were out in force in the small town and for the longest time nothing happpened. Suddenly, a van pulled up on a side street and it didn't take long for the crowd to figure it out, drawing the attention of the police. From my vantage point, the scene was illuminated by a hanging bulb of a porch light on the house in back of the van. The police confidently made their approach toward the front of the vehicle, flashlights in hand while at the same time a mysterious figure opened the back door of the van and tip toed out, apparently unaware of the approaching law enforcement. What happened next was the streaker bolted down the street, crowd in tow. Me, I rolled on the grass laughing because there's not much more funny than someone running naked from the police.



It then dawned on me, all the police were downtown for the big event. So, we got in my friends truck and headed for the police station. From a concealed location I stripped down, wrapped my shirt around my head and got in the pickup bed. When we got to the front of the station I leaped out ran around the building to the front door, jumped up and down a few times and back into the getaway car. All I could see was the dispatcher through the glass door with a suprised look on her face.


Scene 3: Streaking becomes addicting, must be the adrenaline. After the police station event, my streaking was limited to a few small venues, country stores, slumber partys.... but one night me and my misguided friends learned that the Straw Hat Pizza Parlor was full of students from the Block M dance. We had a plan. Drop one guy off ( Robert) at the front door to hold it open for me while I ran through. Then Jim, my getaway driver would let me out in the front and pick me up as I came through the back door. A flawless and beautiful plan it was.


I wrapped the shirt around my head, my driver pulled up front. Robert was positioned at the front door his hand on the handle as he gave me the thumbs up. He had a big big smile on his face. As I ran through, I could see the blur of the crowd periphally through my shirt, the noise, the screaming..... it seemed everything was in slow motion, all I needed was the theme song from Chariots of Fire, yes! I hit the back door, it didn't open and I my momentum caused me to bounce off it and unto the ground. I got up and stood there until the Manager came with his keys to let me out. You see, Robert, unbeknownst to me, had walked in the front door and yelled " Hey everybody Dave Boyd is gonna streak through here" giving the pizza personell enough time to lock the back door. That made the local paper next day.


Scene 4: The high school Musical Review Talent Show attended by students, faculty and parents alike. Preface - our High School Mascot was a Coyote. I normally take great satisfaction from being an inspiration to others. For some reason this night sometime between the baton twirler and the jazz band, our Student Body President, Magna Cum Laude, scholarship ridden , Capt. of the Football Team dude snapped and ran out on stage wearing only the mascot's coyote head. He danced around naked and ran off. Maybe it was the pressure from all his scholastic acheivement. I guess sometimes there has to be chaos in an otherwise ordered universe. Nuff said.

Bucky Whiplash Baby Stuntman

Theatre of the Mind brings you this exclusive interview with Baby Stuntman, Bucky Whiplash. We caught up with Bucky while filming on location in Stockton, CA for a unnamed film to be released in the fall.

TOtM: Thank you for taking this interview Bucky. How in the world did you get started as a Baby Stuntman?

BW: Early on, my Pappy used to make me do summersaults, flying around at the end of his arms, pushing me down hills on Fisher Price things. He realized my talent and exploited me.

TOtM: Fascinating, but it has to be dangerous work, have you sustained any injuries doing this?

BW: No, my bones aren't fully formed yet, they're sort of like pickled eggs, so I bounce. We also spend a lot of time planning the stunts and I have an experienced support team. Don't try this at.... that is so cliche, never mind.

TOtM: What about Child Protective Services? How did you get around that?

BW: Okay, Im going to end this interview now! You journalists are just looking for sensationalism...

TOtM: No, no, I didn't mean to concern you, I was just curious, if we could continue please.

BW: Goo goo.

TOtM: What's the most dangerous stunt you've done?

BW: In this one scene, I had to climb out of my crib and wander out of the front door of the house and into a hog pen on this farm. Man I tell you, the squeeling hog heads! Stop the squeeling please! Anyway, I thought these fat 600lb hogs were going to eat me for sure. Scary. I was covered in mud and poo.

TOtM: What film was that?

BW: It was a documentary about farmworker's kids left alone while their families work in the field. It was about neglect, sad really... kinda like that sign I saw on a bus the other day- Nunca shake a baby... it was in Spanish anyway.

TOtM: Does it pay well?

BW: It keeps me in diapers.

TOtM: I'm sure your'e an inspiration to many people.

BW: That's what keeps me going. The rewarding part of the job. I can show people that if you put your mind to it and work hard you can accomplish anything. Well, except going back and becoming a baby again, unless you got some sort of Benjamin Button thing going on. That was me in the make up by the way.

TOtM: I'll bet working with Mr. Pitt was pretty cool. Did Brad and Ang try and adopt you after filming? ( chuckle).

BW: Yeah funny. It goes to show you, there must not be any poor people in the US anymore because all the stars have to go to Africa or Southeast Asia to find an impoverished child. But if I had to be breastfed, those are some good ones right there......

TOtM: How much longer will you stay in the industry?

BW: It's hard to say, probably till I'm 5. Thats when I have to start kindergarten so it might put some time constraints on me.

TOtM: Well we wish you the very best and it was a pleasure to have you. Thank you for your time. We know you're a busy baby. We look forward to seeing more of your work.

BW: The pleasures been all mine.